Seeking Advice what to do as an ethnic?

[fishynerdy]

im black and I live in the uk

my main problem is that I dont look or act like the normal black guy and it seems the only way to get female attention from them is by having this "yn" mindset and obviously being attractive.

id say my personality and interests are more common with white guys in my area which girls are interested in but wouldn't deem me their type

most of friends are white because I just dont fit in with the average black guy in my area cuz im just not like that

I do like my friends and they just tell me to be myself but I feel being myself is holding me back

even black girls aren't interested in me and some even hate me just because im myself and im not the average black guy

this is even worse cuz ive been getting called nd for awhile now (mainly cuz of the way I act apparently?)

btw im not saying that girls should find me attractive or anything it just feels like im stuck because im being myself

should I rlly have to change myself to be deemed as normal?
any advice would be appreciated

 

[Ray]

you dont need to become a stereotype to be considered “normal”

if you start acting like someone else just to fit in, you will probably attract people who only like a version of you that isn’t real and that’s not a good long-term trade
instead, keep your personality, but improve the things that actually matter i.e appearance! and communication skills

your dating pool may be smaller than that of someone who fits the stereotypical image of an average black guy in your area
but it’ll also be a pool of people who like you for who you are

 

[Ray]

If you’re looking for girls for a one-night stand, then yeah, putting on a YN persona and making yourself more appealing to the niche you’re trying to attract would probably work

but if you want to build a genuine LTR, then I’d rather be with someone who likes me for who I actually am
the right girl isn’t going to expect you to fit some tiktok or wattpad stereotype of what a black guy is “supposed” to be

 

[The WifeThe Wife is verified member.]

this is even worse cuz ive been getting called nd for awhile now (mainly cuz of the way I act apparently?)

I'm neurodivergent, as is my husband. Can't emphasize enough that hyper fixations and obsessive interests are never a factor but presentation is. If you like or enjoy nerdy stuff, that's fine as long as it's not being used as the primary or only pillar of your personality. You can like anime, just don't be known as the guy who Naruto runs down the halls.