- Joined
- Jun 7, 2026
- Messages
- 36
- Trophy Points
- 180
The start of the new school year took place about three days ago for me; I am in high school now and I am focusing on a new specialty (I switched from the general course to a more technical orientation). In short, I arrived a little late on the first day, but everything went well: the power went right away with several guys from my class and I made friends immediately. I have a correct schedule, new clothes and I am motivated to get good grades, especially after last year which was a real hell for me (both personally and academically; I was really struggling and I had never been so unhappy). I had thought that maybe things would change this year and, honestly, they did: the students in my class are nicer, funnier and less distant. for the context, I was rejected by the girl I liked before entering high school and let's say that it followed me a lot because it's annoying all the time when I see her or the fact that these friends were in my class last year, and guess what? one of these close friends is in my class but it's okay I got along well with her friends.
today around 16h, I heard my name followed by "he's ugly", and one of my friends that I made tried to defend me if I understood correctly, but the worst thing is that I know very well that I am, that's why all my life I have received micro aggression, that the girl I loved rejects me, that I have a rather restricted social life and I have always convinced myself that I was someone from homebody but the truth is that I find myself so lzid and I really am that it motivates me not to go out anymore, I don't have a picture of me in my gallery , every time I try to flirt or really start having a social life, every try reminds me that I don't have enough, financially (I grew up in a single-parent family), physically (puberty is quite young and I'm still ugly), socially, every time one of my friends/someone opens snapchat they always have a lot of recent conversation /girl in their message, well, anyway I was wondering, what did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? I've always tried to be a nice, friendly, funny guy (I really am for the moment) but I have the impression that whatever I try to do, it just can't work because of my appearance or my social class, also the fact that I grew up in a not ideal environment, I don't have a room for myself in my own "house", I feel like a rat everywhere I go, I can laugh, talk etc... with people but in the end I would never have a really socially active life.
and society and people remind me everyday I can’t cope or do any and I just can’t accept the fact that my whole life isn’t mine , the only girl that’s I truely loved (i was in denial back then) rejected me because of my looks , and then 3 months later I find out that’s she got into a couple
Everyday is a reminder that’s I’m not enough. Life is not fucking fair , so i wonder what kind of futur will i get , does it even worth it ?
I don’t feel confortable any where or with anyone actually
and the worst part of this , it’s that I’m not even sad (ok maybe sometimes) but i truely think that’s my life actually got better compared to last year and I’m somehow happy (at least partly with what i have) , there is so much thing to say about me and my life but i don’t think I will ever be able to fully understand it
today around 16h, I heard my name followed by "he's ugly", and one of my friends that I made tried to defend me if I understood correctly, but the worst thing is that I know very well that I am, that's why all my life I have received micro aggression, that the girl I loved rejects me, that I have a rather restricted social life and I have always convinced myself that I was someone from homebody but the truth is that I find myself so lzid and I really am that it motivates me not to go out anymore, I don't have a picture of me in my gallery , every time I try to flirt or really start having a social life, every try reminds me that I don't have enough, financially (I grew up in a single-parent family), physically (puberty is quite young and I'm still ugly), socially, every time one of my friends/someone opens snapchat they always have a lot of recent conversation /girl in their message, well, anyway I was wondering, what did I do to deserve this kind of treatment? I've always tried to be a nice, friendly, funny guy (I really am for the moment) but I have the impression that whatever I try to do, it just can't work because of my appearance or my social class, also the fact that I grew up in a not ideal environment, I don't have a room for myself in my own "house", I feel like a rat everywhere I go, I can laugh, talk etc... with people but in the end I would never have a really socially active life.
and society and people remind me everyday I can’t cope or do any and I just can’t accept the fact that my whole life isn’t mine , the only girl that’s I truely loved (i was in denial back then) rejected me because of my looks , and then 3 months later I find out that’s she got into a couple
Everyday is a reminder that’s I’m not enough. Life is not fucking fair , so i wonder what kind of futur will i get , does it even worth it ?
I don’t feel confortable any where or with anyone actually
and the worst part of this , it’s that I’m not even sad (ok maybe sometimes) but i truely think that’s my life actually got better compared to last year and I’m somehow happy (at least partly with what i have) , there is so much thing to say about me and my life but i don’t think I will ever be able to fully understand it
