Is love real

I’ve been going through another rough patch mentally (suicidal thought, feeling empty, yk the usual bitch boy stuff) and I’ve been wondering if true love or any love is real. I’m 18 (ik it’s still kinda young) and I have only felt actual feeling for one girl in my live (any she gay now so I can’t spin back LUL) and still have my KHHV status. I’ve always thought that a relationship or dealing with any girl is a waste of time as it provides almost nothing positive for me. But that’s could also be bc I’ve never felt love for another in that way. So I’m asking the people who have felt this love of it’s even worth it to stress over this and if that love is as good as people say. Bc although I’ve never seen a purpose in a relationship the thought of someone loving you for who you are is something I’ve always deep down craved for. So my view on love is screwed in that aspect as idk what it is or if it’s even real.
(Before anyone say jbg I truly with I could be attracted to dudes as Mabye then I’d feel the need to find love)