I want a husband but I have internalised homophobia

gato said
do you think being aware that these interactions helps reflect on how to tackle these problems, or not really?

Why would I need to tackle them? I have these barriers set up to prevent myself from being hurt again

that does not make sense, your brain prevents you from doing things such as touching a hot stove because it hurts, if you do it a couple of times, you know not to do it because it will result in a negative pain, but that pain was worth it because it got you that information

gato said
dont believe every woman suddenly has innocent intentions

i wish there was a way to filter out innocent women like this, but I do not see a way, and I have seen that most people have ill intentions, and even if they do not, they are not fully conscious of what they're doing so they mis-purposely hurt others