I want a husband but I have internalised homophobia

got.daim said
i do not want to be a homosexual, I am not attracted to the male figure, I am attracted to the idea of being cared for and having someone to care for

i think most of your post can be summarized with this sentence, you're a lot more self aware then i think you realize. plus these comments:

got.daim said
i feel like my distress around short people is also from bad experience

got.daim said
are a byproduct of the bad experiences from women

got.daim said
whenever I tried to place my emotion into women they always seemed to take advantage of it

do you think being aware that these interactions helps reflect on how to tackle these problems, or not really?
you would need something to challenge ur overall world view, i imagine.
id hate to be like 'find women to talk to', becuz i dont believe every woman suddenly has innocent intentions and i dont believe it's that easy. unfortunately i have very little advice in this area