Ngl I kinda feel the same way but not as bad. Like when I’m with friends or playing videos games and shit that distracts me I feel fine, but when I’m in bed my or when a minor inconvenience occurs my mind runs wild. I am trying to fix it by my self but it’s hard and I can’t understand the pain you’re going through. And I get what you mean when you say looking good won’t help. Depression is a spiral and hard to get out of without others to help. If i may ask what do you think caused this?