should i end it all

its genuinely getting worse. I feel that in this current day and age life has no point. I wanna go back to boxing bc getting hit in the head was my only source of therapy. Idk i feel as if im going to always be in a depressive state. Not even having the life i dreamed of would help. I always would feel something missing especially after the death of my grandma. I just hate everything.
look i know its difficult but please dont give up man. idk if i can be much help just know that ure not alone in all of this literally as of recent time we all have been going through tough shit and its probably because its gonna be winter and shit always happens but try your best to be positive even if everything fucking sucks. like i understand dude ive literally lost my grandfather not too long ago too and recently a so called “ldr rs”. its normal to feel this way but try to change ur perspective in life and im sure u will start seeing things more clearly and positively. if anything were all here🙏