i think im fr just gonna be alone forever💔
As corny as it sounds i met this girl on tiktok coz she replied to my comment on a post and she asked for a moot and I said yeah sure why not. Just a couple days of talking with each other we both realized that we genuinely matched each other freaks which then lead to a start of a LDR that was never gonna workout in the first place considering she is from California and its literally 15 hours timezone diff from where im at (and gotta wait till 2028 for me to even get out of my service). She is also a solid MTB and middle eastern that actually knows about hypergamy and stuff and turns out she despise tf out of it and actually accepted me as being enough despite knowing im HLTN-LMTN and im shorter than her too by a few inches(she says im too good for her what 😭). I'm not gonna go into full details but since this shit lasted like just about more than 2 weeks was enough to know that it was all just crazy lovebombing that happened fast asf😭💔🙏.
The reason why we broke off was because her mom apparently logged into her phone and found out about all of these and our chats and they got into an argument and stuff but to me idk it felt kinda odd coz of what was happening beforehand too. Basically right when we first met she was also getting ready for her first day of uni but somehow she doesnt have access to wifi data and shit at all times. She did ask her mom one time to get a new data plan for her but they got into a fight because of how her mom is so strict with it and her privacy and all. Im like okay sure maybe her mom just wants to protect her and stuff and is just worried but still odd that she cant even get that while literally having to attend classes in uni (shes literally pushing 20 soon btw). I asked her how she managed to text me while in class and she said shes been hogging her friends hotspot and stuff im crine ☠️🙏.
Another thing is that she always says she isolates herself like dont go out and stuff literally ldaring at home most of the time and took REALLY LONG naps. And even in uni she said she isolates herself from her friends coz everyone there has a rs and be making out while shes alone and all which actually made me worried that she was gonna leave me out of FOMO and shit. Which then lead to what happened few days ago before the broke off.
We hopped on voice call for the first time hella awkward ngl😭 but she didnt mind it at all and besides she even sacrificed her sleep and waited for me to be back home from work just so we can call since she didnt have classes anymore (its only mon-weds so unfair bruh). So we only called for just 10 mins coz some reason her doorbell rung at 5am her timezone just for someone to deliver a wrong doordash delivery. Then afterwards thats about it we both went to bed i woke up to a few tiktoks that she sent while i was asleep normal routine then there was no sign of her for like 30-40 hours. She did mentioned she was going to stay at her grandmas house for the night (same thing as last week) and I would assume coz of her wifi data bs she cant be online at all so yeah i waited and all.
Once she got back she started spamming me and ignored all my previous messages didnt even explain herself as to why she was gone other than just saying she was busy and couldnt talk at all and then out of nowhere after hours of silence again she texted me about her mom logging onto her phone and stuff and told her to stop talking to me. Imma be real atp i just cant help but think she alr got a dude irl from her uni class and came up with that just so she can end us off without needing me to feel bad and not get caught. Idk man she does seemed like a genuine person and i do overthink and get anxious A LOT like its so fucking bad how obsessed and worried i would get but if its all her stories are real then we ended off in good terms coz imma be fr ts was never gonna workout bro😭💔
Can you blame me tho for getting so attached quickly as a 21 yo KHHV sitting in a fuckass boring mundane office work mon-fri 8am-6pm without actual meaningful connection from anyone besides like 1-2 of my close friends and even so theyre busy as fuck. Like im so fucking lonely its insane to the point that i get so obsessed with her that i need constant reassurance because of how anxious i would get whenever she is not around. Especially when im slowly killing myself with all the things im taking and doing to just tryna ascend a little and then someone like her comes around and tells me that im enough and i need to slow down coz she understood what im going through physically and mentally.
Like yeah it didnt hurt as much its just 2 weeks+ of LDR but damn this shit keeps on happening to me always im so sick and tired of people come and leave and i make the same mistakes every fucking time just because im so desperate and afraid of being alone again. I wanna change but I know I will hate myself even more for being fake and even she said it herself to never change myself for others and change them instead. I hate how pathetic of a fool i am fuck my life im genuinely never gonna find love im too fucking ND for ts and die alone atp💔
ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE A 3RD AND FINAL COUNSELLING SESSION TOMORROW BEFORE MY PSYCHIATRIST ASSESSMENT ON OCTOBER 1ST WALLAHI IM SO COOKED FROM ALL OF THESE MAN💔☠️😭🙏 (also please dont go blaming her mom that ts ended if that was even the real reason smh)
As corny as it sounds i met this girl on tiktok coz she replied to my comment on a post and she asked for a moot and I said yeah sure why not. Just a couple days of talking with each other we both realized that we genuinely matched each other freaks which then lead to a start of a LDR that was never gonna workout in the first place considering she is from California and its literally 15 hours timezone diff from where im at (and gotta wait till 2028 for me to even get out of my service). She is also a solid MTB and middle eastern that actually knows about hypergamy and stuff and turns out she despise tf out of it and actually accepted me as being enough despite knowing im HLTN-LMTN and im shorter than her too by a few inches(she says im too good for her what 😭). I'm not gonna go into full details but since this shit lasted like just about more than 2 weeks was enough to know that it was all just crazy lovebombing that happened fast asf😭💔🙏.
The reason why we broke off was because her mom apparently logged into her phone and found out about all of these and our chats and they got into an argument and stuff but to me idk it felt kinda odd coz of what was happening beforehand too. Basically right when we first met she was also getting ready for her first day of uni but somehow she doesnt have access to wifi data and shit at all times. She did ask her mom one time to get a new data plan for her but they got into a fight because of how her mom is so strict with it and her privacy and all. Im like okay sure maybe her mom just wants to protect her and stuff and is just worried but still odd that she cant even get that while literally having to attend classes in uni (shes literally pushing 20 soon btw). I asked her how she managed to text me while in class and she said shes been hogging her friends hotspot and stuff im crine ☠️🙏.
Another thing is that she always says she isolates herself like dont go out and stuff literally ldaring at home most of the time and took REALLY LONG naps. And even in uni she said she isolates herself from her friends coz everyone there has a rs and be making out while shes alone and all which actually made me worried that she was gonna leave me out of FOMO and shit. Which then lead to what happened few days ago before the broke off.
We hopped on voice call for the first time hella awkward ngl😭 but she didnt mind it at all and besides she even sacrificed her sleep and waited for me to be back home from work just so we can call since she didnt have classes anymore (its only mon-weds so unfair bruh). So we only called for just 10 mins coz some reason her doorbell rung at 5am her timezone just for someone to deliver a wrong doordash delivery. Then afterwards thats about it we both went to bed i woke up to a few tiktoks that she sent while i was asleep normal routine then there was no sign of her for like 30-40 hours. She did mentioned she was going to stay at her grandmas house for the night (same thing as last week) and I would assume coz of her wifi data bs she cant be online at all so yeah i waited and all.
Once she got back she started spamming me and ignored all my previous messages didnt even explain herself as to why she was gone other than just saying she was busy and couldnt talk at all and then out of nowhere after hours of silence again she texted me about her mom logging onto her phone and stuff and told her to stop talking to me. Imma be real atp i just cant help but think she alr got a dude irl from her uni class and came up with that just so she can end us off without needing me to feel bad and not get caught. Idk man she does seemed like a genuine person and i do overthink and get anxious A LOT like its so fucking bad how obsessed and worried i would get but if its all her stories are real then we ended off in good terms coz imma be fr ts was never gonna workout bro😭💔
Can you blame me tho for getting so attached quickly as a 21 yo KHHV sitting in a fuckass boring mundane office work mon-fri 8am-6pm without actual meaningful connection from anyone besides like 1-2 of my close friends and even so theyre busy as fuck. Like im so fucking lonely its insane to the point that i get so obsessed with her that i need constant reassurance because of how anxious i would get whenever she is not around. Especially when im slowly killing myself with all the things im taking and doing to just tryna ascend a little and then someone like her comes around and tells me that im enough and i need to slow down coz she understood what im going through physically and mentally.
Like yeah it didnt hurt as much its just 2 weeks+ of LDR but damn this shit keeps on happening to me always im so sick and tired of people come and leave and i make the same mistakes every fucking time just because im so desperate and afraid of being alone again. I wanna change but I know I will hate myself even more for being fake and even she said it herself to never change myself for others and change them instead. I hate how pathetic of a fool i am fuck my life im genuinely never gonna find love im too fucking ND for ts and die alone atp💔
ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE A 3RD AND FINAL COUNSELLING SESSION TOMORROW BEFORE MY PSYCHIATRIST ASSESSMENT ON OCTOBER 1ST WALLAHI IM SO COOKED FROM ALL OF THESE MAN💔☠️😭🙏 (also please dont go blaming her mom that ts ended if that was even the real reason smh)